changes

well, it's been an interesting week.  there has been a big change in our life, and i'm trying to gracefully adjust.  i've gone back to work.  not full time, though.  i'm working two days a week at the dental office to fill in on the busier days.  i feel lucky to have the opportunity because we were needing some sort of other income right now.  so, it worked out perfectly.

and lindsey, my friend who is at my MOPS table, has agreed to do a childcare trade with me.  for example, i watched one of her daughters on tuesday while she worked (she works part-time, too) and she watched oakley while i worked on thursday.  it's perfect.  and i don't have to take money out of my paycheck which makes it even more perfect.  my mom is keeping oakley on the fridays that she can, but my friend stephanie has watched oakley the past two fridays when my mom had other obligations.  i feel so blessed to have friends and family in town who are willing to watch oakley.

this change is a little bit of an adjustment for me.  i have mixed feelings, because i love the people i work with at the office and the patients i see when i'm there.  it's great to be around other adults and it's nice to not be responsible for a little one every once in a while.  but, sometimes i feel guilty for thinking that because there is nothing i have ever wanted more than to be a mom.  and it's one of the best things God has blessed me with.  i miss him when i am at work.  and i miss him when he goes to bed because i've only spent 2 hours with him by the time i'm home.  and that time is filled with making/eating/cleaning up dinner, then pajamas and about 30 minutes of playing.  i've actually found myself putting him to bed later so i can get just a few more minutes to read to him or talk to him.

but, the other part of me thinks this is a good thing.  he's getting the chance to play with other kids and spend time with his gramma.  he's away from me for a two days a week, which (maybe!) could help him when we make the transition to preschool.  he's so happy to see me when i get home and enthusiastically tells me about every detail of his day, complete with jumping up and down and acting out how he went down the slides and climbed up the wall at jumping jax.  i'm torn.

and i honestly think the two year old is adjusting better than this mama.  maybe the Lord is preparing me for preschool. :)